"It's the thought that counts," is something people say when they need to excuse a present that is essentially rubbish. But in my view, the thought doesn't count unless it's a thought worth counting. A thought like: "I love you for all that you are, weirdness, wonderfulness and all", for example. It is these kind of thoughts that One-Off Wonders are stuffed with giving them the highest possible thoughtcount per cubic centimetre.

What is the perfect present?

Right here, right now, we are in your present (hello!) and frankly I am honoured to be in it with you. Now I know it may not be perfect by anyone else's standards, but for you it is perfect as it is the only one you've got. And it was your one and only perfect past that got you here. So go on, grab hold of it and make the most of it. Quick, before you slide into your perfect future and then beyond that, into nothing.

Quick now, here, now, always-
— T.S. Eliot - Four Quartets